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Where Are the Customers' Yachts?: or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street


Once I picked it up I did not put it down until I finished. . . . What Schwed has done is capture fully—in deceptively clean language—the lunacy at the heart of the investment business.
—From the Foreword by Michael Lewis, Bestselling author of Liar's Poker

". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street."
—Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
—Michael Bloomberg

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former."
—John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine

Fred Schwed Jr. was a professional trader who got out of the market after losing a bundle in the 1929 stock market crash. Years later, he published a bestselling children's book entitled Wacky, the Small Boy, and then went on to write Where Are the Customers' Yachts?
Introduction by Jason Zweig.

Foreword to the 1995 Edition by Michael Lewis.

Introduction to the 1955 Bull Market Edition.

I. Introduction--"The Modest Cough of a Minor Poet".

II.. Financiers and Seers.

III.. Customers--That Hardy Breed.

IV. Iinvestment Trusts--Promises and Performance.

V. The Short Seller--He of the Black Heart.

VI. Puts, Calls, Straddles, and Gabble.

VII. The "Good" Old Days and the "Great" Captains.

VIII. Investment--Many Questions and a Few Answers.

IX. Reform--Some Yeas and Nays.

About the Author.